Semester ending

Nobody but me ever sees this blog, and that's fine. Maybe I'll send a link to Melissa or Joel.

Got the second Covid vaccination a couple of weeks ago, and it went very well, as soon as I was officially able, I took off for the gym, and I'm very pleased with the results. The year of inactivity gave me a bulging belly and very soggy, flabby arms. Two and a half weeks of gymnasium, and I'm seeing visible results. Nice!

I started a blog for Grace Haven refugees, and after a couple of weeks with really great readership, it's dwindled to nothing. Oh well. Anyhow, one specific reflection was the weeks and weeks of counseling from people like Linda Kelso. There seem to be dozens of Ashland Seminary graduates with an MA in counseling. Looking at the Ashland curriculum, it's really just an introduction to the topic, and I'm aghast that these people thought they could help me work through chronic depression issues. I'm also sad that I never went to anyone else. Ashland really favors the now-disused Rogerian counseling model:

• Counselor: What brings you here today?
• Me: I'm sad, lonely, and depressed.
• Counselor: You're sad, lonely, and depressed.
• Me: Yup.
• Counselor: What do you think you could do about it?
• Me: Maybe I could try to find more friends.
• Counselor: Maybe you could try to find more friends.
• Me: Yup.
• Counselor: Well, our time's up for the day. That will be $100.

I figure I can do that with a pen and notebook, and not spend so much money. I found a very interesting YouTube discussion of the sources of depression—unresolved anger issues. I think I'll get out a pen and notebook and start working through those. That looks very promising.

School, 7 weeks in

It's been an unusually rough semester so far. I've got three sections of English 100, and, because of the virus, decided to divide each into three cohorts, so the students only come in one day per week and do the rest of their education online. Several things went wrong with that idea.

Each cohort was supposed to be five or six students, but it's been much more common for a group to be two or three. I didn't account for the football players who assume they don't have to do any work in the class, so in a normal semester the 9 a.m. group with 15 registered students would have been running with six or seven—pretty typical football player behavior. Instead, dividing the group so small, I got the tiny attendance. (And, to be fair, the concept of only coming to class one day per week totally confused two or three of them.)

Another sign of the grimness was that several students waited until week seven to even figure out textbooks, etc. Some of them still don't know how to submit papers. Out of 44 active students, something like a third are failing and five have submitted no work whatsoever. It's discouraging to a teacher. 

But there are signs of life. Half a dozen (including, unfortunately a couple who are failing because they don't submit work) are actually pretty good writers and interesting people, and the readings seem to be opening a few eyes. Maybe the semester isn't a total loss.

Has it been 4 1/2 months?

I've settled into a real routine here. Mornings I work on school stuff and afternoons (weather permitting) I try for a long bike ride beginning about 3 p.m. Today is very rainy and cold, so I'm staying in. Probably the same tomorrow.

I'm reflecting on how the quarantine has affected my apartment. I haven't had a visitor in a couple of years anyhow, which means I have very little incentive to clean or vacuum or anything like that. If I can find a place to sit and play on the computer, I'm fine. Purchasing is weird, though. We're not supposed to go out much, so I buy in volume. A year ago, I would never have had (for example) all that canned soup or all that pasta. Now I buy for at least a week or two. Besides that, some things are simply unavailable and others don't come in small packages any more. I really didn't want six rolls of paper towels, but that's the only way to buy them now. I ended up with five pounds of pancake mix, liked it so much that I bought another five when that got low. It's not available any more. Caught the last box of my favorite brand. I keep hoping for blueberry pancake syrup, so I will buy when it shows up. (I'm thinking of a bike ride on the trail near Orrville. Maybe I'll stop in at the Smucker's store and stock up on several bottles.) I don't know when I will ever see angel hair pasta again and my favorite brand of olive oil and balsamic vinegar is disappearing, so I'll stock up.

All of that is really minor stuff, though. I guess I can stay this way for a very long time, and, to tell the truth, when I do get out in public a bit (for example yesterday when I ventured into an antique store), I am pretty fearful. Stay behind the locked door.

Two weeks and counting

Been locked in for a solid two weeks now. The weather, as usual for Ohio, is grey, cool, and windy, though it's expected to zoom up into the 50s in a few days. I guess I'm getting used to things, but I'm having trouble adjusting to my future. Apparently, I will never again (or at least for a year or two) actually touch another person or be close enough physically to share a meal or a beer or cup of coffee. I never hear a voice that isn't a YouTube video, and I have no particular use for my own voice. These four rooms are my world.

Yesterday was a defeat/victory of sorts. I had the insane idea of recording a face-to-face video for my students—which led to about four hours of screaming frustration. I eventually gave up on the video, though at the end of the four hours or so I did get the buggy software to do its work. Now I'm so angry at the software that I doubt I will ever use it. (Wrote a message to the software company and got an "it's not our issue" response. In my reply I pointed out that I'm on the committee deciding whether to renew their license and I'm going to recommend against it.)

The world of education is full of computer programs that look great, have glowing testimonials, and simply don't work. There was the grammar handbook software at Akron which looked so good in the beta version, but their update (launched just as school began) did nothing whatsoever, resulting in that publisher being permanently banned from the Akron English department. There was Macmillan's Launchpad, which works beautifully for teachers, but not for students. Now Kaltura, which (on its good days) is a video-capture software with bells and whistles, but has a very unfriendly user interface and a company that does not answer end-user questions. They refer everything to our local IT people, who aren't really specialists.

Possibly the isolation is getting to me. I suspect that may be the case.

Lockdown

As of this afternoon, Ohio is on official semi-lockdown. With a few vivid exceptions, we're supposed to stay home for the next couple of weeks. I get the impression that even a trip such as the one I took this afternoon (a 38-mile drive in the country, but I never left the car) would be forbidden. Interestingly enough, however, trips to public parks (with bicycling specifically mentioned) are OK and so are trips to my office at the university, so long as I don't actually meet students.

I'm glad. Week after week in this small apartment will rot my mind. Today's journey was a big help, and the bicycle exemption is very welcome. I've got a very short time to pull the distance ed courses together, and I really prefer doing the talking head videos in my school office.

I still miss the gym though. It's too cold for the bike and I mainly sit in one spot (and accumulate aches) during these quarantine days.

Darwinian news about handwashing

I just read an article on Slate which points out—with impressive statistics and surveys—that Republicans are far less likely than Democrats to take the coronavirus threat seriously. They are less likely to avoid public places, less likely to do such things as wash their hands frequently, and less likely to sign up for vaccination if it were to become available. After the studies corrected for urban/rural bias, the proportions stayed the same. Same story with other extrinsic factors: after all the correction, something like 40% of Republicans think coronavirus is a problem, compared with 60% or more of Democrats.

People whose major news source was Fox News tended to disbelieve in the coronavirus threat, but even their numbers weren't quite as extreme as the numbers for the Republican Party. The most vivid statistical split was Trump supporters versus the rest of the country. And that makes sense. Trump supporters tend to believe that he's got a lock on all truth, and he's been very dismissive of the threat, a fountain of disinformation.

This feels like a Darwin Awards moment. Trump supporters, who tend to be much older than the population in general, do not believe in the threat posed by a disease that targets older people. Trump supporters were never the majority of the country (topping out somewhere near 17%) and this disease will disproportionately kill them off. I don't think this is a moment to sit on the sidelines with an evil grin and say "Aha!" but it does illustrate the point that sooner or later, all of us must deal with real facts, not with fantasy or conspiracy theory or the distortions of a leader who thinks he can spin his way out of anything in the news.

ESCAPE!!!

I finally got it through my head that the issue isn't keeping me behind a locked door or keeping me away from fresh air. It's keeping me away from people's coughs and sneezes. So I took a longish (6 mile) walk on the bike trail today.